The Flossing Rule

I have this weird, really annoying, unspoken rule with myself when it comes to flossing.

I only ever want to floss my teeth when the timing is the least appropriate. It's usually two o'clock in the morning and I've been up for too long and I should really go to sleep. It's as if the gravity of the consequences of poor flossing habits only truly holds weight when my eyes are burning red with exhaustion and I'm punch drunk tired. 

After washing my face, brushing my teeth, and doing all of the other things in my nightly routine, I open my medicine cabinet to put my toothbrush away and a true internal dilemma unfolds. 

The following is the scene I imagine happens between the little people that control my brain machine (in script format to illustrate that I have a degree in screenwriting), revealing the true nut-job I am. 

INT. MICHELLE ARNO'S BRAIN MACHINE - NIGHT

SLEEPY and LOOPY stand at the control panel of Michelle's brain machine. A large screen in front of them displays what Michelle sees while performing her nighttime routine in the bathroom (washing her face, brushing her teeth, etc.). Sleepy is in sensible pajamas, has pimple cream on her face, and is slumped over. Loopy is wearing a bunny onesie, is drinking coffee, and is jumping around. The screen displays the inside of Michelle's medicine cabinet. Loopy looks up at the screen and points.

LOOPY

Oh, look! Floss!

Sleepy rolls her eyes.

SLEEPY

It's two in the morning. 

LOOPY

But her teeth really need to be flossed. 

I think there's a bit of something 

in between those two in the front...

SLEEPY

Why now of all times?

She should really be getting some sleep!

LOOPY

 If not now, when? 

She can't just put this off forever! 

Her teeth might fall out! 

She might get gingivitis! 

The dentist will know she only 

flossed the week leading up to her appointment 

because her gums will be super sensitive 

and bleed everywhere when he cleans them! 

Then when he asks how often she flosses, 

she'll have to lie like she always does and say, 

"I try to get to it a couple times a week." 

And then he'll nod and say, 

"That's okay, but you should 

really try to floss every day," 

but he will know. HE WILL KNOW.

She's gotta floss now. She HAS to.

Loopy falls to her knees and raises her arms up, begging. Sleepy puts on her reading glasses and opens a book.

SLEEPY

Sure. Fine. Whatever.

THE END

So that's me being crazy. Happened just the other night. Thinking this over, I might have a slight case of multiple personality disorder... Psychology friends? Other friends? People that like to pretend they know everything about personalities after taking too many Buzzfeed quizzes? What do you think? Leave your thoughts and analyses in the comments below.

P.S. I imagine Sleepy saying that last line like Scully in this gif: 

P.P.S. Yes, I imagine my brain machine looks like the control center of Inside Out.